The world is terrible so we're just going to talk about snack food today, okay? Specifically: Trader Joe's Cornbread Crisps. They are astonishingly good, somewhere between chips and crackers. My friends raved about them so much that I bought two bags, and then I went back and bought three more (but two of those are for Thanksgiving, I swear).
They SEEM to be what would happen if you cut up dense cornbread into tiny slices and added some salt and maybe butter and toasted them, except I'm 100% sure that if I actually tried to do that myself I'd just wind up with a mess of cornbread crumbs. So it's worth risking your life in the Trader Joe's parking lot to obtain these, I promise.
NOTE: From my friends' descriptions, I'd expected them to be in a box, shelved with crackers. THEY ARE NOT. They are in a bag in the chip section.
You can eat them alone. With cheese. In soup! With chili. I'm bringing some to Thanksgiving and I think they will make a great seasonally-appropriate chip substitute for before the meal.
Also note: Trader Joe's did not, alas, pay me to endorse their product. I just feel strongly about spreading the gospel of Cornbread Crisps. But YOU can help pay me for writing future ridiculous posts like this by joining me on Patreon!