Monday, December 7, 2015

7 Questions About That NH Waterpark Story

Did you read about that New Hampshire waterpark that was sold to another waterpark after/even though the owner chained himself to a waterslide to . . . prevent this somehow? If you don't live here, you probably didn't, so here, go read, I'll wait. This story has some more background and includes the great line "The chain is 12 feet long and came from his garage. A friend delivered it shortly after the metaphor died." It also includes a COMPLETELY ERRONEOUS Dickens reference. The Ghost of Christmas Present did not have chains. He was the happy one. COME ON.

Anyway. I have some questions.

1. How do you sell something "over the objections" of . . . yourself, basically? (The second article I linked does explain this a bit; I think what they mean is that the guy's choices were to pay his creditors or have the park put up for auction, which . . . is a little different. It wasn't RANDOMLY SEIZED. He didn't pay.)

2. Does he realize that chaining yourself to things is supposed to be in support of some sort of social justice point? I don't really think "I don't have money to pay my bills but want to keep my business anyway just because" counts.

3. Why did he think this would be a good strategy to attract investors? It got some attention, sure, but was any of the attention the kind that would make any sane person think "I want to go into business with this man"? Maybe his time would have been better spent writing a business plan or something?

4. And if it WAS just for attention, why didn't he at least have a decent social media strategy? COME ON.

5. I know we're supposed to feel bad for him because he's losing his home as well as his business, and I do, but why was his house included in the auction anyway? Was he living in the waterpark??

6. Given the whole "live free or die" thing, New Hampshire business owners are weirdly into this idea that the community should support their failing businesses just because they're . . . nice or something. (In this case by "support" I don't mean "patronize" - I am definitely in favor of patronizing local businesses - but rather "donate money expecting no goods or services in return.") Friends once booked a local venue for their wedding and then, a few months before the wedding, got an email saying "We need all our customers to donate money so we can stay open." WHAT? (Don't worry. They found a new venue.)

7. How are there so many waterparks in New Hampshire that I've NEVER HEARD OF BEFORE? Maybe they would do better if they were in a state where it was warm for more than two months a year.

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