Patreon Spotlight: Interviews and Guest Posts!

One of the reasons I have a Patreon is to help me publish different kinds of content here, not just more. So I wanted to tell you about my next goal! Because that's very focused in that area.

When my patronage level reaches $100 per month, I'm going to start getting you at least one interesting interview or guest post a month here. I really like the idea of hosting some different voices. For one thing, it just gives you a change from listening to my opinions about everything all the time. And, more importantly, I'm hoping to pull in some perspectives you might not otherwise get the chance to hear.

Wondering what this actually means? Well, how about a few examples? For the first few months once we reach this level: actress/writer Kate Hackett and author Susan Adrian will both stop by. (More on the latter in a second.) I've got an awesome young queer sex educator who will come recommend some non-terrible sex ed resources for the kids and teens in your life. I haven't actually talked to her about it yet, but I'm planning to drag my mom in to talk about health care policy from a pediatrician's point of view. (Hi Mom!) And remember Vampire Legal Issues? Our favorite vampires are no longer on TV, but plenty of other fictional characters are making terrible estate planning decisions, and Lawyer Christine will come back to yell at them.

And... it also means that when we reach the goal I'll put up a notice about how YOU and anyone else interested can pitch me guest posts. I'll even pay you for them.

So. As of this writing, we're at $53. $47 to go. Even $1 a month helps a lot (and gets you an exclusive monthly update on my work!). Any more than that gets you extra content: more links, playlists, recipes, all sorts of stuff. And I said I'd get back to Susan... the thing I have planned with her is really awesome and... really Christmas-related. I'd love to publish it in November to help get us all in the mood (and... maybe help you with your Christmas shopping?!?!). That gives us about two months to reach this goal. Let's do this.

Vampire Legal Issues, Season Five: The Mystic Falls Exists in a Legal Black Hole Edition

NOTE FROM KATE: From time to time, I make/let my friend Christine, who is a real life lawyer, go on about vampires and the law. Season six starts tonight, so let's legally recap season five!

Vampire Legal Issues, Season Five: The Mystic Falls Exists in a Legal Black Hole Edition

So Season Five was a season of The Vampire Diaries that was on TV! I have to be honest, it wasn’t my favorite season (too many villains, too many doppelgangers). But there were legal issues! These are kind of picked at random from what I remember and some recaps I skimmed over the summer, so this isn’t at all comprehensive but is rather a table of light refreshments, if by “refreshments” you mean “1,500 words of Christine complaining about the imaginary undead.”

I Guess It Depends on What You Mean By the Word “Move”

In the finale, the Travelers decide to change the boundaries of Mystic Falls by MOVING THE SIGN. Oh, says Markos, “we’ve reset the official boundary of Mystic Falls” so that it’s the same as the boundary of the spell. Um, no you haven’t. Have you EVER worked with a planning board? THAT WOULD TAKE YEARS. I suppose the Travelers could have inhabited the Mystic Falls planning board, but what about the other towns’ boards? Mystic Falls certainly ACTS like it exists in a vacuum, but surely it has bordering towns. So sorry, Markos, no dice. You did nothing to the official boundary, and you're going to have a dickens of a time sorting out your tax base.

Clearly Markos is not a details man and has just had his minions mark his desired boundary by moving the sign. This is obviously an excellent plan, because all you have to do to make a new town is mark the boundary in some way- signs, a chalk line, breadcrumbs- and it will WORK and no other towns will be annoyed or even notice (though I suppose if Mystic Falls’s neighbors were going to be annoyed they’d have popped up by now, and on second thought maybe vampires have killed most of central Virginia).

Also, if they did the spell to extend to the boundaries of Mystic Falls, how does that work? Does MAGIC just KNOW what the boundaries are, or do they have to do something like, “[magic talky-talk] and this extends to the boundaries of Mystic Falls as recorded in Book 2, Page 2894, Mystic Falls County Registry of Deeds”? Hee. I’d love to see them translate THAT into whatever the hell language they’re babbling.

You Think Coming Back From the Dead is Complicated for Our Beloved Characters? What about for their LAWYERS?

I feel really bad for the lawyers of Mystic Falls, because the precedent on people coming back to life after their estates have been probated is pretty light. I mean, YOU try to draft an estate plan for someone who could come back from the dead over a year after they died. It’s happening ALL OVER!  Assuming that your client will stay dead is basically malpractice at this point and there are probably no sample wills that contemplate that situation. Someone go to the boardinghouse and give the lawyers all of Damon’s bourbon.

Imagine:

LAWYER: *Sits in office, reconciling client trust accounts and wondering why she didn’t become a marine biologist.*

PHONE: *rings*

ELENA: Hi, this is Elena Gil-

LAWYER: *opens office supplies cabinet, takes out bourbon*

ELENA: -bert, and Alaric has come back to life. Can he have all his stuff back?

LAWYER: *CHUGS*

Seriously: when someone dies, their estate has to go through a process called probate- that is, the court-supervised process of re-titling assets in the name of the deceased person’s beneficiaries. (This can also be done by trust, but let’s not complicate issues.) So Alaric dies, or Bonnie (and her dad!), and hypothetically their heirs should be probating their estates- you know, selling the house, getting rid of furniture, changing the names on their bank accounts. That stuff wouldn’t belong to the dead person anymore, because there’s no dead hand control in property law. DEAD PEOPLE CAN’T OWN THINGS. (See: all my former Vampire Legal Issues columns, in which I complain about this at length.)

But what happens when the dead COME BACK? Do their heirs just give their stuff back voluntarily? Even if they did, surely at some point all that re-gifting would trigger the gift tax.

Anyway, the closest situation I could think of was people who have been presumed dead (sailors who disappeared at sea, prisoners taken captive and never heard from again). However, in Virginia you have to be missing for seven consecutive years (cite) to be presumed dead, and I have no idea what TVD's timeline is but it hasn't been that long since any of these people died.

I looked for cases of people returning from the dead and wanting their stuff back, but had a hard time finding anything really relevant (especially with a search limited to Virginia). There is, of course, The Return of Martin Guerre (and Sommersby!), but that’s more identity theft than a return from the dead. Of course, people are kidnapped or run away and return, but I didn’t find anything recent involving someone who had a lot of assets; in those cases, people can go to court to be declared alive again, but I didn’t find anything about the property complications, and presumably many of them had no property. There is Guillaume le Gentil, an 18th-century French scientist who was gone so long in his attempt to chart eclipses that, when he returned to France eleven years after leaving, his family had had him declared dead, his wife had remarried, and all his property had been claimed by others. It took tons of litigation and even the king to restore him, and I have doubt he was completely made whole.

The problem with all of those situations is that there was never a body, as there has been on TVD. So honestly, I have no idea how that would play out because I have never heard of a single case of actual resurrection (er, barring the religious). My best guess is that there would a LOT of litigation. Or, you know, that Damon would take care of it in some non-legal way. (I know he’s dead but whatever, we all know he’s coming back.)

EXHIBIT:

Yay Alaric! He’s charming and also has been dead long enough for his estate to be probated. Didn’t he at one point give Elena the numbers for all his accounts and contact information for his family? Is his family dead? Who did he leave his property to? Does Elena just keep the loft for storage purposes? Did he own or rent the loft? What’s he living on now? Did someone save his license and passport or does he need new ones? Can you IMAGINE the paperwork?

Who the F*&$ Even Owns Those Houses Now?

I suppose this question is academic, since the gang can’t go back to Mystic Falls right now, but who owns the Salvatore house NOW? Did Damon have a will? Does Elena still own it?  Who’s managing his investments? (You KNOW he has some.) Matt invites Katherine into the Lockwood House! So he still owns it, then? I wonder if Tyler will want it back now that he’s human.

Man, the chains of title on these places must be INSANE.

Aaron Whitmore, Beneficiary of All the Trusts, Apparently

Remember Aaron Whitmore? Blond, Elena seemed to like him until her boyfriend killed him and she shrugged it off? What was his deal?

His guardian, Wes, ran the Augustine Society (which: vampires seriously couldn't escape some rural doctors? really??) and Aaron, once he finds out, pulls the funding by saying this spectacularly opaque thing: “My family’s trust came through.” Um, did it? What the hell does that mean? Was he going to get control over the trust at, say, 21, and he just happened to turn 21 in time to cut off Augustine’s funding? Was the Whitmore family PERSONALLY funding Augustine, or was it through the college? SURELY Aaron must have had a personal trust, entirely separate from the college’s funding.

I suppose that Aaron could have had Wes removed as trustee, but that process would depend on the terms of the trust. Perhaps he went to probate court, but I’d like to see him explaining that Wes was mismanaging the funds by spending money on vampire experimentation. Ha!

Furthermore, was Aaron living off the same money that funded Augustine? How does Whitmore College work? Did Aaron just own it, or did he control its funding? It was all very confusing. Anyway, I hope there was a residual beneficiary for that trust (trusts?)! It would be SUCH a shame for it to escheat to the state.

So that’s it for now. Season 6 starts tonight and I’m quite sure I’ll be back soon with more irrelevant questions about the legal arrangements of the imaginary undead. Find me on Twitter @twtrlessfriend or on my new blog, Reign of Terrible, where complain about TV, share history links, and generally babble.

Christine

Vampire Legal Issues: The "For Real, Elena Doesn't Need a Guardian" Edition

(Part of a continuing series of guest posts by my friend Christine, who is now in fact a lawyer.)

So I haven’t done one of these super-dorky posts in a while, mostly because I get bored of myself screeching “BUT HOW DID HE GET IN THERE?” constantly so I just vaguely consider it and then wander off and eat a cookie.  BUT.

After last night’s episode, I saw some commentary on the Interwebs about Elena needing a new legal guardian, and I just can’t help myself, so here’s a rerun for you.  Elena is 18.  Alaric was not ever her legal guardian, and she certainly doesn’t need one now.  (As an adult, she’d only need a guardian if she was incapacitated in some way, and she’s not. You could argue that her judgment is poor [what with the “which serial killer do I love the best” struggle and all], but that’s not incapacity.  I do like to imagine the hearing, though.  “Well, she looks normal and gets the bills paid on time, but her undead ex went on a murderous rampage and all she did was tell him he was a good person deep down!  WHO DOES THAT?”)

[Disclaimer: Still not licensed in Virginia, so if you have family situations like Elena’s, ignore me, run straight past your nearest Virginia-licensed attorney, and GET SOME THERAPY.]

Here’s what I wrote at the beginning of the season:

I cannot state this strongly enough: ALARIC IS NO ONE’S GUARDIAN.

Underline!  Boldface!  Italics!  Flashing lights!  Emotionally, I agree that it makes sense for Alaric to be Jeremy and Elena’s parent figure.  They’ve lost so many relatives, and Alaric knows about the supernatural world they inhabit.  He’s obviously got issues [Naughty Alaric], but he’s still the best option they’ve got.  However, being guardian to a child is a legal role, and except in the case of the child’s parents, it requires court authorization.

[The following citations are all to Virginia law; the other states with which I am familiar are all substantially similar.]

First of all, Elena has turned 18 and doesn’t need a guardian.  She is legally an adult.  Even if Elena were not an adult, Alaric would not be her guardian because he has no legal relationship to her.  Isobel was probably not legally Elena’s mother at any point, because she was not listed on the birth certificate.  A woman who gives birth to a child is legally presumed to be the child’s mother. [cite]  How do we know who gave birth to a child?  Well, for starters, she’ll be listed on the birth certificate.  Therefore, there is a legal presumption that Miranda Gilbert was Elena’s biological mother.  Elena is essentially adopted, except that there were never any adoption proceedings.  She is not legally an adopted child.  Is this shady?  Absolutely.  But you’re going to be hard-pressed to convince a judge to run a DNA test at this point.

Furthermore, even if Isobel were Elena’s legal mother and had never given her up for adoption, Alaric would not be Elena’s presumptive guardian unless he had adopted her or was named her guardian in Isobel’s will. [cite; cite; see also definition of child.]

Jeremy- well, how old is he?  Sixteen or seventeen?  Jeremy still needs a guardian, and he can request that Alaric be appointed his guardian.  However, that appointment must go through a court first. [cite]  I don’t know how likely a court would be to appoint Alaric; Jeremy’s wishes would be considered but they are not controlling.

Now, all of this is probably academic; if no one notifies the appropriate authorities that the Gilberts are living on their own, the courts probably won’t step in. Jeremy will turn 18 soon, and we can pretend that Jeremy and Elena will get control of their inheritance at 18, though that’s unusual.  Anyway, point is: ALARIC ISN’T THEIR LEGAL GUARDIAN.

But what was that about their money?

The sad and bereaved Gilberts don’t seem to be lacking in income to spend on flapper dresses and hunky suits and whatnot, so let’s assume their parents left them significant assets in addition to an enviable real estate portfolio.

I think I remember Uncle Daddy John mentioning being the estate’s trustee (he probably meant the trustee of the trust that received the estate’s assets, but whatever).  Those assets are probably in a family trust that’s intended to provide for Jeremy and Elena until they can support themselves- pay for college, living expenses, property taxes, and so on.  A trust instrument (which is the governing document) can set an age for assets to be distributed to the trust’s beneficiaries.  This is often done in installments, say at 21, 25, and 35 (or something similar).  It’s very unlikely Elena would have legal ownership at this point; everything is probably still owned by the trust.  So hypothetically the trust needs a trustee, since Uncle Daddy John is dead.  The trust instrument would likely have named an alternate trustee, but unfortunately (for me if for no one else), the show hasn’t gone into this.  It’s also possible that a bank or financial institution was listed as co-trustee for the convenience of having it administer the trust’s assets.

However, let’s face it: it probably doesn’t matter. Elena’s pet vampires are available to compel bank tellers and stock brokers whenever is required. (Do you ever wonder about Damon’s to-do list? 1) Clean rugs; 2) Make googly eyes at brother; 3) Compel accountant to file Gilbert Family Trust income taxes; 4) Maintain eyebrows.) It’s likely a great deal easier to do that than to worry about legalities, especially since I’m not sure that Uncle Daddy John was ever declared legally dead. (I wonder what’s happening with his estate? Damn, Show, inquiring minds (?) want to know!)

So basically: ignore what I just said, because I don’t think following the letter of the law is on Elena’s list of top ten priorities.

I’m so glad we got that straightened out. I’m going to do actual work now. :-)

Christine

PS-  I hope Alaric changed his beneficiary designations! (Don’t forget to update your estate plans when you pseudo-inherit affluent waifs from your deceased vampire significant others.  Probate codes haven’t caught up to you.)

PPS-  Feel free to make Season 4 The Season of Estate Administration, Show.  Or you could do a spin-off.  There are so many possibilities: Tyler could challenge his mother’s life estate!  Matt could argue before the Founder’s Council that everyone in town is dead so should be divested of their property because NO DEAD HAND CONTROL!  There could be a Vampire Legal Institute to draft a Restatement of the Law, Property (Vampires and Other Abominations)!!!  Abominations with Assets would be the best spin-off EVER.

PPPS-  Also, Alaric should sue Stefan for beating him up last week, and then Stefan could be all, “He consented!” and the judge could throw the case out!  SUCH FUN.

PPPPS-  Not really relevant, but did you see Jeremy with his hunky vest and his sleeves rolled up?  Three buttons away from a romance novel stepback, I’m telling you.  Browse the customer images, y’all.  And if you are thinking to yourself, OH, those are hilarious, I could look at those forever, then please do!  (Just make sure your boss isn’t behind you)  You’re welcome.

Vampire Legal Issues: Maybe Mystic Falls Just Doesn't Have CPS

THING NAUGHT POINT FIVE: Oops.

Last time I forgot that Jeremy and Elena also each own one half of their father’s office building.  Add that to the balance sheet!  

THING ONE: I cannot state this strongly enough: ALARIC IS NO ONE’S GUARDIAN.

Underline!  Boldface!  Italics!  Flashing lights!  Emotionally, I agree that it makes sense for Alaric to be Jeremy and Elena’s parent figure.  They’ve lost so many relatives, and Alaric knows about the supernatural world they inhabit.  He’s obviously got issues [Naughty Alaric], but he’s still the best option they’ve got.  However, being guardian to a child is a legal role, and except in the case of the child’s parents, it requires court authorization.

[The following citations are all to Virginia law; the other states with which I am familiar are all substantially similar.]

First of all, Elena has turned 18 and doesn’t need a guardian.  She is legally an adult.  Even if Elena were not an adult, Alaric would not be her guardian because he has no legal relationship to her.  Isobel was probably not legally Elena’s mother at any point, because she was not listed on the birth certificate.  A woman who gives birth to a child is legally presumed to be the child’s mother. [cite]  How do we know who gave birth to a child?  Well, for starters, she’ll be listed on the birth certificate.  Therefore, there is a legal presumption that Miranda Gilbert was Elena’s biological mother.  Elena is essentially adopted, except that there were never any adoption proceedings.  She is not legally an adopted child.  Is this shady?  Absolutely.  But you’re going to be hard-pressed to convince a judge to run a DNA test at this point.

Furthermore, even if Isobel were Elena’s legal mother and had never given her up for adoption, Alaric would not be Elena’s presumptive guardian unless he had adopted her or was named her guardian in Isobel’s will. [cite; cite; see also definition of child.]

Jeremy- well, how old is he?  Sixteen or seventeen?  Jeremy still needs a guardian, and he can request that Alaric be appointed his guardian.  However, that appointment must go through a court first. [cite]  I don’t know how likely a court would be to appoint Alaric; Jeremy’s wishes would be considered but they are not controlling.

Now, all of this is probably academic; if no one notifies the appropriate authorities that the Gilberts are living on their own, the courts probably won’t step in. Jeremy will turn 18 soon, and we can pretend that Jeremy and Elena will get control of their inheritance at 18, though that’s unusual.  Anyway, point is: ALARIC ISN’T THEIR LEGAL GUARDIAN.

THING TWO: This is my regularly scheduled inquiry about house ownership and invites.  BEEEEEEEP.

Kate and I watched the season premiere together, and when Damon walked into the house in Tennessee where Stefan killed those girls, we had the following conversation:

Me: But how did Damon get in there?  Didn’t someone inherit the house?Kate: You ruin EVERYTHING.                  

And then again, watching “The End of the Affair:”

Me: I feel like I have the same problems every week.Kate: Like the part where you’re insane?     Me: ...that could be one of them.                                                                                                                                                                                                    

I really have nothing to say that I haven’t said before.  So, to recap:  HOW DID DAMON GET IN THERE?  DOES NO ONE INHERIT HOUSES ON THIS SHOW MY GOD.  Maybe we are pretending that everyone dies intestate?  And if you die intestate, is the house in some sort of limbo, like when it’s a bank-owned foreclosure?  How do vampires pay their property taxes?  Do they compel the appropriate authorities to remove their residences from the tax rolls?  If Stefan has been keeping his Chicago apartment for the last 90 years, has he checked in on it?  If he comes back to find squatters, does he just eat them?  Does Stefan own that apartment, or rent it?  Does he pay fees to a homeowners’ association?  Will he lose his security deposit when they find the list of victims he left on the wall?

This has been my regularly scheduled inquiry.

BEEEEEEEP.

THING THREE: Kids with assets.

If the Gilberts’ estate was planned the way I think it was, Jeremy and Elena are probably fine for money.  My estate planning professor said that parents of dependant children should have a life insurance policy 20 times their annual income, so that if the payout only got 5% returns, the family would still be getting the deceased parent’s income.  If the Gilberts did that, then Jeremy and Elena should have enough money to pay the mortgage, their presumably immense property tax bills, and for other stuff like food and utilities and new clothes.  I’m sure Jeremy isn’t working to put food on the table.

I’d really love to know about the Lockwood estate, too; does Mrs. Lockwood own the house now, or is it in trust for Tyler?  I’d guess that it goes to Tyler - Mystic Falls seems to enjoy male primogeniture - but maybe Mrs. Lockwood has a life estate.  

(You don’t think about imaginary people’s estate plans?  WEIRD.)  

THING FOUR: Who loves the 18th Amendment?  No?  Mostly the 21st?  Yes, Alaric, I know where you stand on that one.

In honor of this week’s awesome 1920s speakeasy flashbacks, here’s a friendly reminder that the newest Ken Burns documentary, Prohibition, starts this Sunday on PBS.  Check your local listings and keep an eye out for Stefan!

Peace out,

Christine

PS - Have any of you ever driven through Virginia and Tennessee?  I have, and I can tell you from personal experience that it takes a long time.  In “Rose,” the props department conveniently labeled Mystic Falls on the map, and it’s supposedly a bit southwest of Charlottesville.  (Yes, I looked it up.  I have a lot of spare time.  Shut up.)  Getting to any part of Tennessee from Charlottesville will take at least three hours (and it will feel like an eternity).  The gang is bouncing back and forth like they’re going to Starbucks.

PPS - Do we know how old Klaus is?  I suppose what’s important is that he’s clearly old enough to know what an arms race is.  Build an army so big no one will challenge it.  HA.  Nice plan, doofus.  At least now we know he has an enemy in mind.

VAMPIRE LEGAL ISSUES: The “Invites Are Giving Me a Headache” Edition

NOTE FROM KATE: From time to time, I make/let my friend Christine, who is almost a lawyer, go on about vampires and the law. Season three of The Vampire Diaries starts tomorrow, so this seemed like a good time for a season two wrap-up. We'll have more of these posts for you this season if more legal questions arise. ONE CAN ONLY HOPE. You can follow Christine on Twitter at @twtrlessfriend.

It’s time for another installment of Christine Thinks Too Hard about Vampire Law!  There’s so much to talk about, you guys.  I’m saving PROPERTY LAW for last.  Like dessert!

THING ONE: Those murderin’ monsters aren’t so homicidal, if you want to split hairs (and I do).

Did you know that common law defines homicide as the killing of a human being by another human being?  It doesn’t define the killing of a human being by a VAMPIRE!  Damon and Stefan are not homicidal maniacs!  Hee.  Maybe this is why Kate and I still find Ezra Fitz creepier than either of the Salvatores.

THING TWO: Child protective services needs to send a squad to Mystic Falls, STAT.

Someone needs to think about the children!  Bonnie’s mother ran away and her father is possibly imaginary; Caroline’s father is elsewhere and her mother is an incompetent workaholic who’s never home; Matt has been abandoned and is about three unpaid bills away from being the little match boy; and Elena and Jeremy keep sleeping with monsters.  These kids need a parent!  They need a responsible adult!  THEY NEED EMILY GILMORE.

Anyway, now that everyone is dead, Elena and Jeremy have no legal guardian and their estate has no trustee.  There are two issues here: the kids need a guardian, and their property also needs a guardian.  These can be the same person, but don’t have to be: Jenna was the legal guardian, and John was the estate’s trustee.  Since "The Sun Also Rises," Jeremy and Elena are missing both.

Elena will be turning 18 in the Season 3 premiere, so she at least doesn’t need a legal guardian anymore.  This doesn’t mean that she’s automatically Jeremy’s guardian, though.  She’d need to go to court to get custody.  

I have seen it suggested online that Alaric should get custody, but I can’t see this happening, even if Mystic Falls has judges as awful as their deputies.  He’s not related to either of the Gilberts.  What would he be? Step-birth-father?  Almost-uncle?  Obi-Wan?  Even if Isobel had been a Elena’s legal parent (she wasn’t on the birth certificate), Alaric, as Isobel’s husband, would have no rights to Elena whatsoever, nor would he be responsible for her support except in exceptional circumstances.  Alaric certainly has no claim to Jeremy.  Dating someone’s aunt doesn’t put you in the guardianship pool.

Hopefully the estate property is less confusing, and the Gilbert parents listed alternate trustees.  A bank would probably have been co-trustee with John anyway for everyday management purposes.

All that said, as much as I would love to see the Gilberts’ estate plan (ooooh, and Dead Mayor Lockwood’s!), I assume Jeremy and Elena will just get Damon to compel bank authorities when they need something.  Naughty scamps.

THING THREE: Wait, so who owns all those houses now?

Do you ever wonder if - um, Lockwood? - County is full of a lot of very confused probate judges?  (Come on, you know the Lockwoods named everything after themselves.)  I mean, the town’s death rate is immense, but property never seems to change hands properly!  Let’s get this straight:

• Elena died.  She owned:
• half of the Gilbert house
• half of the lake house
• the boardinghouse
• Jeremy died. He owned:
• half of the Gilbert house
• half of the lake house
• Alaric dies all the time, but I don’t know what he owns.  For all I know he leases his Suburban.
• The Salvatores are dead.  Do they own anything?  I mean, other than an enviable collection of hair products?

So when people die, even for brief periods of time, does ownership pass to someone else?  If you come back to life, do you get all your stuff back?  And then who controls invites into your real estate portfolio?  

THING FOUR: Possession, Ownership, or Occupancy: How in the name of all things holy do invites WORK, or, Does Alaric have to invite Damon into his Suburban now?

For the most part, it has always seemed to me that rightful occupants of a property, whether owners or not, could invite vampires in.  (See I Heart Property Law and Vampires Should Too, written after "Know Thy Enemy.")  After all, Jenna could invite people into the Gilbert house, which she presumably didn’t own, and so could John.  Caroline and Tyler could invite people into their parents’ houses, which they also presumably didn’t own.  Matt invited Vicki into their house, and I assume the lease was in their mother’s name.  Occupancy, not ownership, seemed to be the common thread.

But then in the last five episodes of the season, it was like Invites Gone Wild over in Mystic Falls, and it’s giving me a confusion headache.  How did Klaus get into Alaric’s apartment? How could Alaric invite Damon into his apartment after he’d been kicked out?  How did Katherine get into the boardinghouse to save Damon?  How did Elijah and Stefan get into Alaric’s?  Alaric’s apartment is like a black hole of invite logic!  And as for Alaric- if you live in your car, do you have to invite the vampire in?  Poor Ric must be living in his Suburban, what with Klaus taking over his bachelor pad.  Will he have to invite Damon in next time they take a road trip?

Despite these issues (and I suppose they could just be continuity problems, but that destroys all my fun), I think my occupancy theory still works.  In the finale, when Stefan got into Alaric’s and Katherine into the boardinghouse, those dwellings’ respective owners had stopped occupying them.  Alaric was maybe living in his Suburban, and Elena went back to the Gilbert house.  I know the producers said that Katherine got into the boardinghouse because Elena had died, but I like my theory better.  

So if we just go with Damon being a continuity boo-boo, occupancy STILL WORKS.  I AM THE BOMB.

Except- remember in "Let the Right One In" when Damon didn’t bother killing the lady who owned Pearl’s crash pad until he’d determined that she had no heirs?  Wasn’t the point that if the lady died but she had an heir, that new owner would control the invites and Damon wouldn’t be able to get in to rescue Stefan and his abs?  Wouldn’t that be the case here too?  If Elena technically died, shouldn’t her ownership interest have passed to Jeremy?  They weren’t both dead at the same time, and when Jeremy died Elena was alive again, so the house would have passed back to her.  So how did Katherine get in?  And if the boardinghouse is now open to all vamps, wouldn’t the Gilbert house be open too?  SEE?  HEADACHE.

Eagerly awaiting further vampire legal hijinks in season three,

Christine

PS- How does occupancy work with vacation homes?  Perhaps it’s a “occupy in the manner of homes of that type,” sort of like how you don’t need to constantly occupy an isolated ski chalet to adversely possess it if it’s normally only occupied three months a year.  Maybe it has to do with who’s exercising dominion over the property, so more of an adverse possession model?  Though that wouldn’t explain Alaric’s, unless neither he nor the landlord are in possession, because Alaric moved out and the landlord has somehow not noticed the shenanigans going on in his apartment.  But then how could Alaric invite Damon in, if it’s possession?
DARN YOU, SHOW.

PPS- I have always wanted to know what would happen if ownership to a property changed while a vampire was inside, and thanks to "Klaus," now we know: the vampire will no longer be able to breathe.  Sorry, Elijah.  (You’re still dreamy, though.)

PPPS- You know who would know the answer to my questions? Elijah.  THANKS, KLAUS.

PPPPS- Eliiiiiiiiiijah.